meyer family

(i know i have a certain group of ladies waiting anxiously for these...;)

happy birthday, tina!!!!!!

technology woes aside (i wish i was a computer geek...or married to one)...

i had the most fun last night doing a photo shoot for a beautiful and fun family who live on the most exquisite piece of land complete with a pumpkin patch, family grown garden, and rustic pink barn (it's a shed, but barn sounds lots cooler)!!!

we walked barefoot, skipped rocks, and hunter even caught a fish with the help of his daddy! i could eat savannah with a spoon and possibly move into their home too! it is so lush and green and with a quainr pond as a back drop, i have expected bambi and his mommy to walk out of the woods and head over for a drink.

i can not wait to return here in the fall...the leaves, the pumpkins, the pond OH MY!!!! it's too much for my camera to take in all at once. here is the sneak peek as promised-i have so many, i hope you like these few!

i know this is really light, but i heard the family liked this one the most, so here it is again!

thank you for inviting me to your BEAUTIFUL home and letting me practice away on your beautiful babies!!!

jellyfish.

me: drifting in and out of sleep. its the time in the morning where you are still sleeping, yet you know that this slumbering bliss is about to end...kids will be up soon!

what feels like 10 seconds after i have the above sensation...

peyton: soft cries, pitter patter of her little feet stammering down the hall over the wood floors where i hear her feet stop at our bed. "mommy, there's a jellyfish on my window!"

me: "shh. beckham is sleeping. WHAT? a jellyfish on your window?!"

peyton: "yes, mommy. a there's a jellyfish on my window and i'm scared."

me: (not proud) "HAHAHAHAH. a jellyfish on your window. let's go see this jellyfish!"

we held hands, walked up to her window, and yes there was indeed a weird designed dusting of dirt or some kind of shadow that very well could have been a...jellyfish.

she cracks me up. she especially cracks me up long after she is asleep, snuggled in her bed. it is at night that i think of the day beginning to end. oftentimes finding myself more amused at the memory of an event that happened earlier in the day, than when it actually happened.

i love her littleness. her sweet little worries. her little face seeking us out to calm her fears, irrational and otherwise. she is full of emotion. she analyzes. she's an analyzer. she thinks and thinks and thinks. i watch her little eyes and face and i can see that she is trying to process...understand.

she is wise...for a 4 year old (yup, she's still 4, ya know) beyond her years. lately she is asking about getting older, white hair, big bums. yes, big bums and why some people have them. i don't know where she gets it. but rest assured, my girl likes a big bum often times telling me not to exercise so i won't have a "flat body."

"not to worry, " i tell her back, "i have a while before i have a flat body again, sweetheart." thank you very much:)

my baby is growing up.

more than anything, i hope she comes to me every morning with fears of friendly, window loving jellyfish. i don't want that to end. nope. not yet.

xoxoxo

photo shoots? who? me? & and a little r&r!

mostly, we just hang out, enjoy the soft, green grass here, the cooler days (cooler than naples), family dinners, friends! it's summer time and it's so beautiful here. i wish i could bottle it up and send the cool nights to each and everyone of you...for a little break from the intense heat. hoping to make this a monster post...get lots in, so here goes...

while we are enjoying our time here, there is so much i miss about home. i think i miss sundays at the beach the most. coming off of a busy sunday with errands and obligations, i would love nothing more than spending a lazy sunday afternoon with a cold beer or frosty lemonade, a few kids safely snapped into their life jackets, a magazine, the breeze, friends, and just us being a family together, at the beach. no, i don't take those days for granted one bit. i squeeze every bit out of them.

with little pangs of home sickness setting in, it helps that we have been doing so many wonderful things and have so much more to look forward to this summer, i want to be home and here all at the same time.

i am loving that we have the opportunity to be here in the summer and with my beloved camera almost glued to my eye, i document so much of it. i have so much i want to share but not a lotta time or energy to get it all done before my eyes grow heavy and i'm whisked off into a decadent slumber. yes, i do love me some sleep!!!!

a few weeks ago, jeff and i took a little trip up north to this cool place, chrystal mountain-a resort and wellness spa. i felt very hollywood-ish, city girl going to the country, going to really cool workout sessions each morning and trying to eat a little healthier. very fun and relaxing and i did get to luxuriate at the spa one afternoon... even though i read the prices wrong and spent a little too much...much to my surprise AFTER receiving the treatments, i pulled out my credit card all the while keeping a straight, i'm-cool-i spend-this-much-every-weekend-hollywoodish-rock star,face-i walked back to the villa wondering how i would explain myself and immediately called a friend who instantly made me feel better, like only a good gal pal would do at a time like this. "heidi, i've done it before!" "it's okay, in the end, you deserved it anyway." "you work so hard..." by the end of the call i was ready to book myself another round at the spa-lol! thanks kell!

here's a peek at the spa...it was so beautiful!

would've taken more, but i didn't want to get thrown out of the place:)

my summer jenn!

and then we acted like kids the rest of the weekend...

jeff even did the moonwalk all night as a tribute to MJ.

we flashed peace signs all night because i guess we think it's really fun at the time...i'm not quite sure exactly!

and after mommy & daddy had some fun...the kids did too! we had a great play date the other day. i'm talkin' BIG waterslides, a pinata, food, and a kid-sized house to boot. i love watching our kids enjoy their summers together...

and finally, i did a few mini-shoots while up north. i had such a GREAT time doing them and i learned so much too!. posting these made me nervous, but i'm just going to jump in head first, because i think that's the only way to do something new...if your freaked out, a tad unsure, riding a huge learning curve wave of technology and excited all at the same time!!! here are a few that i took from each shoot...

beautiful caterina, her mom, and beautiful babies were so fun and so easy. it was hot and humid, but the kids just kept going and going! i love how fun the photos turned out. they really reflect how much fun we were having...

took this little guy a little time to warm up to the camera, but when he did, his smile was so genuine and precious.

this sweet girl was up for anything.

she is darling and shares a special bond with her grandma too,

which i love to see!

beautiful and wonderful mama, caterina.

next was taylor... love this girl. she is an amazing person...AMAZING! as well as beautiful, she is funny and i loved taking these photos of her. she was a trooper...about ten minutes into the shoot, it started pouring down rain. she didn't care, we just kept on going. we had a blast. the girl can not take a bad photo, but here are a few of my faves...

another gorgeous family- and funny and witty and all good things that come to mind...

in love with caity-bug!

equally sweet...big bro cam!

well, this may well be the longest post ever!!!

thank you all for the texts and calls regarding my gram. love you people lots.

xoxo

livin', lovin', and growin!'

oh, how i've missed this blogging 'thing!' i can't begin to even try to explain on here how busy we have been. it has been crazy with family stuff, baby showers, vacations within vacations, family and friend visits...whew. i am getting tired thinking about it, but we are having a wonderful time here!!!!

i think one of the things i most enjoy about being here is sitting around with the sito and gido (jeff's mom and dad) and watching them enjoy, love and dote on peyton and beckham! i love that in the morning, after breakfast even on a work day, linnie says, "come on heidi, lets do the dishes later. grab some coffee and let's go see what the kids are up to!" we will then proceed to the room where the kids dance or perform for us. i love how easy and slow things can be in the morning, and i love sharing my little piece of heaven with them.

one reason i have been so busy is...

my heart is heavy. maybe heavier than it has ever been. my grandma is sick. just writing that one sentence brings me to tears. it's like thinking about her and talking about her to anyone, makes me cry with no ability to turn off the faucet of salty tears. i debated talking about it on here, in fact, i thought i wouldn't, but my fingers just went there. i guess it's because i need to put it out there. prepare myself for other things maybe. maybe because this blog helps me face the truth and see the good in every situation. first, i have to say that i love my grandma so very much. we have always shared a bond that i found to be unique and extremely special. my earliest memories of her were her pretty face with bright red lipstick, pond's cold cream, cheese puffs, the hair salon, and mrs. grass's chicken noodle soup served up in a coffee mug-not a bowl! i am not sure why my sister heather and i thought that was so special, but we did and would ask for it each time we stayed the night at her house. if we were having a really great night, she would also make us a kraft single and mustard sandwich too! (i know...most of my memories revolve around food:).

she is the person that i have shared most every secret and thought and emotion with. through my teenage years, i asked her question after question that may have been awkward with someone else, but not my grandma. she is unassuming, open, and unfathomed by the craziest things. when she would laugh, i knew things would be okay. i learned that she was in my corner through good and bad.

before my wedding, my grandma fell and broke her leg. when she called to see if i could stay with her until she could get around...i jumped at the chance. i stayed in her living room for two month, fetching coffee, making tomato sandwiches (here i go with the food again), washing laundry. more than that...we had the most fun ever. we played card games, we had a slumber party every night. we would watch old reruns of the love connection the dating game. laughed together everyday and then cried when we learned of john f kennedy jr.'s plane crash. she helped me tie up lose wedding details and made me call off work one day because she said i would look tired on my wedding day (ahh...that last part about got me fired we really found the silver lining in crappy situation.

she flew to florida when i had my first baby...peyton mae...named after my grandma...colleen mae!

i could go on and on and on.

when i arrived home a few weeks ago...i knew she had had a stroke. i knew her diabetes was out of control. i knew she was a bit forgetful.

what i didn't know was how different she would look. still the same beautiful lady i knew...but just different. there was a time when she wouldn't leave the house without her hair done, make-up, nails manicured. when i approached her, i tried to hide my emotion and shock and worry, she cried. she said she was crying bc she was happy to see me. we sat together at my dad's retirement party and just listened to her. made plans to pick her up to do something fun the following week.

many phone calls to family and friends later...i though i was ready to see her again. we had a sleepover at jeff's house. my grandma stayed with us for the night. we had dinner, played poker (she's a shark), joked around. i found myself looking desperately for my grandma. at times she seems so like herself, like nothing is different. however, mostly, she is different. her memory resets every 20 seconds...she thinks she is younger than she is...she talks about her mom and her old puppies,...

she is slipping away. like a thief in the night, dementia is stealing our grandma away from us. she is being robbed of the simple pleasures that we all take for granted each day. she knows it, she hates it, and it makes her sad.i hate it. i am not ready and i am not ready to deal with it yet. i want my grandma back. the one who knows where she lives, the one who wants to look her best, the one that can have a dinner and remember what she ate. the one that can care for her beloved dog and herself without any assistance.

as much as i know this is life, this is what happens...i am not able to deal with it. it weighs on me day and night. it has consumed me so much so that i search the Internet trying to learn about new things or meds that can help her, praying for a miracle to happen, knowing that it won't. i am not feeling sorry for myself, i think i just need to come to grips with it. she is still here and i will enjoy her as much as i can.

she is so sharp sometimes and then the next minute...she is gone. lost and asking the same question over and over and over and over again.

she needs to live with one of us or move into a home...and those thoughts are haunting my every minute. i have taken her to the docs a couple time, we went to lunch yesterday and we always have fun. these are the things i am tyring to focus on now.

i know we will get through this. this whole process or experience is forcing me to think of the future. it's forcing me to see life in a new way, and as hard as this time has been for me, i have learned a deeper appreciation for living in the moment.

i stare at my kids faces, knowing that one day soon they will be adults. i know it will happen so quickly, that i run to them more often for a squeeze or a kiss, or to simply tell them how happy they make us, and how much we love them. i am reminded how precious this time is that we have with each other. in this moment. this month, this day, and this year. i cling to this moment because this moment, even with all the 'growing and learning' going on, this moment is so special. i love walking in the house and seeing little tiny shoes next to our bigs shoes. i love that i still get to serve drinks in big kid sippy cups and i love that i can just love up on my kids with no regard to as to embarrassing them infront of their friends. oh how i'll miss these days...one day. i know that by being aware of of how special today is...we will live a better day. oh, and if my future self reads this, and i know she will and i know what she will be thinking...'hey, teenage kids are special too!' yeah, i know all that and i welcome it with open arms, cause i know that's a pretty special time too. HELLO!!!!...prom dress shopping, boyfriend chats,...girlfriends to hate...LOL! can't wait!

with the passing of michael jackson, and all the other emotions, and real life...i am learning to grow, i think:) growing in the mindset of... this is life, it truly is what we make it. we do make our own destiny and it is a great responsibility and blessing to have that freedom.

to be honest, i am not going to proofread this. i hope it's not morbid or depressing. i meant it to be a post about growth and even if i am not growing today...i know it is happening. out of this kind of pain...growth must occur too:) i love this 'being real' stuff. writing this all down has made me feel so much better that i think i may go for a quick run. the weather has been perfect here and i found the most beautiful park the other day...i'm talking like deer five feet from our face, rolling hills, an old fashioned ice cream truck (bet your butt i got pictures...lots of 'em!), and miles and miles of wooded trails. heaven on earth and it's only 1.8 miles from here. who knew?!!!!

in times like this...holin' up in the house, watching a fluffy kid, make-your-heart-sing kinda movie and drinking a hot cup of coffee is just what the doctor ordered.

also, in between helping take care of my lovely grandma, jeff and i were able to take a three day vacation up north together to a really cool health resort. it was invigorating and beautiful and i will post pics of that later. for now...here are a few pics that i shot of my sister elaina's baby, my niece...evie...since i am trying to put my photographers skills to the test...i like to practice on her...

i could eat her all up...i nibbled her little cheeks, but i can't get enough of her!!!

some important things to blog about...

gramps' birthday!!!

and gido's birthday!!!

gido was in the hospital, so peyton was the nurse and took her job extremely seriously even finishing her shift by making peanut butter filled celery sticks!

peyton's favorite person/slave...auntie hi-o!

we love u auntie hi-o

my sweet little monkeys!

just feeling so blessed to be your mommy!

xoxo

missing my girls too! love you's!!!!!